FUNNY

Girls Have Two Butts

Mind-Blowing Sandbox Announcement My Fellow Boys

A Traffic Reporter Who Wants You to Know about Quantum Teleportation

Traffic is moving slowly, just like advancements in quantum teleportation.

Writing Tips from the Rest of the Iceberg

As a cold, isolated chunk of ice, I don't want to sink you as so many other icebergs do in a screaming catastrophe; I want to keep you buoyant.

Literally Right Now Being Actually Actual from Like an Actual Individual

I'm quite rather not literal and more actually actual, existing now in the current right now writing

The G.O.A.T. Goat

“Yes, pronounced Guh-Goat, as in the Greatest of All Time. The G.O.A.T. goat, or G-G-O-A-T: Greatest Goat of All Time.”

The Coronavirus Killer Keeps Slipping Through My Thoroughly Washed Fingers

The Most Notorious Killer Since Wally the Winchester Wacker in the 1920s

A Thank You Letter from Cleatus, the FOX Sports Robot-turned-Marlboro Man

As I lean against the broadside of a barn writing this letter in my hard drive brain, puffing away on an NJOY vape pen, I can't help but feel a sense of gratitude and excitement for my new life as the Marlboro Man.