In the Steal of the Night
Who knows what you'll find after you go through the window
Perhaps a fine chardonnay or an old Nintendo
You never know until you try with shaky hand
What benefits you can earn plundering someone's land
In their silent dark house you cannot turn on a light
Unless you want to wake groggy persons for a fight
Tiptoe is the preferred choice for seamless travel
Bump into the fine china and you'll get the gavel
You always first rummage through their fridge for a last meal
Because it's up in the air where you go once you steal
While you scarf down cold fried chicken and the last Fat Tire
You look at their pristine dishwasher and admire
It's a Kenmore SmartWash with Energy Star sticker
Forget the rest, now you want nothing but to nick her
So, you find the garage and gather all the right tools
Walk back and realize you'd break many cardinal rules
Never steal something you cannot fit into a sack
And never steal something you're gonna wanna bring back
In the living room one can find costly plugged-in stuff
If you feel confident, you can carry on in the buff
Avoid all the rooms except for the one with money
Now, better leave soon or the cops won't think it's funny
This is when one should leave a criminal calling card—
pile of chicken bones on the carpet, not on the yard
When you decide to leave, don't leave back through the window
Unless all you took were chardonnay and Nintendo